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Please forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe. It required bandaging.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
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Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
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The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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More quotes by Woody Allen
I can't understand why more people aren't bisexual. It would double your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Woody Allen
I believe people ought to mate for life...like pigeons or Catholics.
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The process of making films is so technically demanding that it's a distraction. You don't spend your time thinking about the philosophical content, which is often very depressing.
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I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
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I took a puff of the wrong cigarette at a fraternity dance once, and the cops had to get me, y'know. I broke two teeth trying to give a hickie to the Statue of Liberty.
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I write about what I want to write about, and so the film comes out as a very personal expression even if its subject matter is totally prefabricated.
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For some reason I'm more appreciated in France than I am back home. The subtitles must be incredibly good.
Woody Allen
Should I marry W.? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name.
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If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
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There is always the possibility that people will change. Real change is more rare. You are who you are at a certain age in life you are pretty much a variation of that your whole life. It's conceivable that you will change but it's not likely.
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Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka.
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Where I grew up in Brooklyn, nobody committed suicide. Everyone was too unhappy.
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I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
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What has gotten into you lately? Save a little craziness for menopause!
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It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off.
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Psychoanalyses is like music lessons, for 5 years you do not notice any progress and suddenly you can play the piano.
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Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.
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Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.
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I consider myself a completely lucky filmmaker. I've had nothing but good luck. Everything I've needed has come my way.
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Every hooker I ever speak to tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing.
Woody Allen
