Quote

I should go to Paris and jump off of the Eiffel Tower. If I took the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier.

Woody Allen

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Towers
Hours
Earlier
Three
Jump
Witty
Paris
Concorde
Humorous
Eiffel
Took
Tower
Dead

More quotes by Woody Allen

Image
. . . they confuse everything I do with my life.
Woody Allen
Image
What advice would I give the average homeowner to protect himself against burglars? Well, the first thing is to keep a light on in the house when you go out. It must be at least a sixty-watt bulb anything less and the burglar will ransack the house, out of contempt for the wattage.
Woody Allen
Image
I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.
Woody Allen
Image
None of the arts are any good unless you really are great at them.
Woody Allen
Image
What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop?
Woody Allen
Image
Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed.
Woody Allen
Image
For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath a pedestal.
Woody Allen
Image
I don't believe in an afterlife, but I'm taking an extra pair of underwear just in case.
Woody Allen
Image
A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense.
Woody Allen
Image
A deranged person is supposed to have the strength of ten men. I have the strength of one small boy... with polio.
Woody Allen
Image
See, I will always have this penchant for what I call kamikaze women. I call them kamikazes because they, you know they crash their plane, they're self-destructive. But they crash into you, and you die along with them.
Woody Allen
Image
The true test of maturity is not how old a person is but how he reacts to awakening in the mid-town area in his shorts.
Woody Allen
Image
As I got more confident, I was able to let actors improvise, and do long takes. It's 10%, 5% you learn and experience. The rest you just have or you don't have.
Woody Allen
Image
[...] I've come to the conclusion that the artist can not justify life or come up with a cogent reason as to why life is meaningful, but the artist can provide you with a cold glass of water on a hot day.
Woody Allen
Image
You can't control life. It doesn't wind up perfectly. Only-only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I am an absolute expert.
Woody Allen
Image
Those who can't do, teach!
Woody Allen
Image
Ads answered out of desperation in the New York Review of Books proved equally futile as…the 'Bay Area Bisexual' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
Woody Allen
Image
Some of the best memories of my childhood that I have are the times that I played hooky from school so I could spend my days in the public library reading all the wonderful books at my disposal.
Woody Allen
Image
They were doing the Dying Swan at the ballet. And there was a rumor that some bookmarkers had drifted into town from upstate New York and that they had fixed the bullet. There was a lot of money bet on the swan to live.
Woody Allen
Image
The roe is reputed to sleep for a thousand years and then suddenly rise in flames, particularly if it was smoking when it dozed off.
Woody Allen