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I should go to Paris and jump off of the Eiffel Tower. If I took the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Witty
Paris
Humorous
Concorde
Took
Eiffel
Dead
Tower
Hours
Towers
Three
Earlier
Jump

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I'm so excited-I think today I'm going to brush all my teeth.
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Some men are heterosexual and some men are bisexual and some men don't think about sex at all ... you know, they become lawyers.
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If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Warren Beatty's fingertips.
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There is dignity in suffering nobility in pain but failure is a salted wound, that burns and burns again!
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I never considered myself an artist. I aspire to be an artist, but I never thought I had the depth or substance or gift to be an artist. I do think I have some talent, but it doesn't go as far as being an artist.
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I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.
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All i have in my life is my imagination
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My success has allowed me to strike out with a higher class of women.
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I hope you're getting this down.
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I was walking through the woods, thinking about Christ. If He was a carpenter, I wondered what He charged for bookshelves.
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Doing abominations is against the law, particularly if the abominations are done while wearing a lobster bib.
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There's no rhyme or reason to anything that I do. It's whatever seems right at the time.
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Life is unresolved, confusing, bewildering, puzzling, ambiguous. You don't really know what's going to happen. The future is uncertain for everybody.
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If the [actors] are working, and I have a dinner engagement, I don't do 20 takes. I do five takes and go home. I want to go to dinner.
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Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.
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My grandfather had a wonderful funeral... On the buffet table there was a replica of the deceased in potato salad.
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I took a puff of the wrong cigarette at a fraternity dance once, and the cops had to get me, y'know. I broke two teeth trying to give a hickie to the Statue of Liberty.
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A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense.
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