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I should go to Paris and jump off of the Eiffel Tower. If I took the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Jump
Witty
Paris
Humorous
Concorde
Took
Eiffel
Dead
Tower
Hours
Towers
Three
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More quotes by Woody Allen
When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.
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I can't express anger. I grow a tumor instead.
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My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
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Every time you make a movie it's a new and different experience. You learn very little from the past. So, I'm a little bit better than I was when I first started.
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If I had my choice in life I would have had the gifts of Tennessee Williams or Eugene O'Neill. Unfortunately my gifts lie in comedy and so comedy comes fairly easy to me and I occasionally have an idea for a very serious piece and I do it, but the ideas don't come that readily to me.
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There's nothing like the discovery of an unknown work by a great thinker to set the intellectual community atwitter and cause academics to dart about like those things one sees when looking at a drop of water under a microscope.
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Once munching has begun, Schopenhauer held, the human will cannot resist further munching, and the result is a universe with crumbs over everything.
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Relationships are really what interest me the most. And I think, in the end, they interest most people the most. Even when you read Tolstoy or something, basically they're about man and woman relationships.
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What is it about death that bothers me? Probably the hours.
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The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.
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I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
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I'm trying to arrange my life so I don't have to be present.
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What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop?
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I don't know what I want, but I know what I don't want
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Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
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Magic has always been of a great interest of mine. I was an amateur magician when I was young. I used to practice and read up on it a lot. I'm well-aware of the history of magic.
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I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
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It is clear the future holds great opportunities. It also holds pitfalls. The trick will be to avoid the pitfalls, seize the opportunities, and get back home by six o'clock.
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90 per cent of success is turning up.
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The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
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