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I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Humorous
Starting
Wagner
Listen
Poland
Urge
Urges
Witty
Conquer
Absurd

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I can't understand why more people aren't bisexual. It would double your chances for a date on Saturday night.
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How wrong Emily Dickinson was! Hope is not the thing with feathers. The thing with feathers has turned out to be my nephew. I must take him to a specialist in Zurich.
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I can levitate birds. No one cares.
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When I first started, there were writers that I looked up to that I felt very influenced by and very respectful toward their work and their opinion of my work.
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One man starving puts a crimp in my evening.
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Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.
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The best things in life are censored.
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In 1940 I was just turning 5 years old and being taken to the movies. For those of us who were not old enough to understand the horror of war it was a very romantic era because these guys were kissing their wives and girlfriends goodbye and going off to fight and become heroes.
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There's nothing like the discovery of an unknown work by a great thinker to set the intellectual community atwitter and cause academics to dart about like those things one sees when looking at a drop of water under a microscope.
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Some people want to achieve immortality through their works or their descendants. I prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.
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It's easier to direct. If you direct something poorly and re-shoot it the next day, stage it better, make it work better, you have a lot of possibilities. You can edit it in certain ways so that it works, but there's no getting around weaknesses of the script.
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Abysmal vermin that I am, I couldn't of course tell her that it was her incredible mother that I wanted to see again… I knew only as I drove through the cold, night autumn air that somewhere Freud, Sophocles and Eugene O’Neill were laughing.
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How does gravity work? And if it were to cease suddenly, would certain restaurants still require a jacket?
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What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop?
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I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
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The great question of philosophy remains: If life is meaningless, what can be done about alphabet soup?
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It's hard for me to know. I'll think, 'I really brought off my ideas, it's great,' and no one sparks to it
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If I just got up in the morning and had no place to go and was retired or something, I would be sitting there and be thinking, Gee, what is the purpose of life? Why are we all finite? Why do we get old and die? Is there nothing out there? Why is it so tragic? Why do our loved ones perish? Why do we generate? Who wants to think about that stuff
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I think Hollywood has gone in a disastrous path. It's terrible. The years of cinema that were great were the '30s, '40s, not so much the '50s...but then the foreign films took over and it was a great age of cinema as American directors were influenced by them and that fueled the '50s and '60s and '70s.
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Sentence structure is innate, but whining is acquired.
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