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It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Sarcastic
Match
Angel
Heaven
Made
Love
Retarded
More quotes by Woody Allen
Manute Bol is so skinny they save money on road trips. They just fax him from city to city.
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I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
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I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
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Those modern analysts, they charge so much! In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you. For ten marks he would treat you and press your pants. For fifteen marks Freud would let you treat him - that included a choice of any two vegetables.
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Man cannot live by bread alone. Every once in awhile he needs a salad.
Woody Allen
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
Woody Allen
I've had a very productive life. I've worked very hard, I've never fallen prey to depression. I'm not sure I could have done all of that without being in psychoanalysis.
Woody Allen
And Nietzche, with his theory of eternal recurrence. He said that the life we lived we're going to live over again the exact same way for eternity. Great. That means I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.
Woody Allen
In fact, when they wake up in the morning, they're Jack Nicholson or Robert De Niro or Josh Brolin. And it's built-in, but they think it's all this other stuff. But it's not. They'd be great if they didn't think about their part or if they did think about it.
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Years ago I was on television having a discussion with Billy Graham about atheism. He was saying, even if you're right and I'm wrong, and there's nothing after, I will have had a better life than you, because I do believe there was something. And I couldn't argue with that, even though I wanted to.
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All literature is a footnote to Faust. I have no idea what I mean by that.
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I got a divorce because my ex-wife left me for another woman.
Woody Allen
The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.
Woody Allen
If you take a frown and turn it upside down, the person you are holding by the ankles will soon pass out.
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I keep getting more and more ambitious. Over the years, to some degree, in some areas, I feel I've grown. In some areas, I made a fool of myself. In some areas, I think I can still do some funny things.
Woody Allen
Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately, no one we know belongs.
Woody Allen
Boy, the food at this place is really terrible. The other one says, Yeah, I know and such small portions. Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly.
Woody Allen
Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge. Others only gargle.
Woody Allen
You're so good looking I can barely keep my eyes on the meter.
Woody Allen
Usually, you hire people that you think are wonderful.
Woody Allen