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It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Sarcastic
Match
Angel
Heaven
Made
Love
Retarded
More quotes by Woody Allen
I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
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Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
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Is Knowledge knowable? If not, how do we know?
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Anything worth knowing cannot be understood by the human mind.
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One of the interesting things is, the most gifted people, the biggest people, have no problem taking small roles.
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Life is short. Short, and not about anything except what you can touch and what touches you.
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Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
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I didn't know he was dead I thought he was British.
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Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.
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With me it's just a genetic dissatisfaction with everything.
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The history of the world is like: He kills me, I kill him, only with different cosmetics and different castings. So in 2001, some fanatics killed some Americans, and now some Americans are killing some Iraqis. And in my childhood, some Nazis killed Jews. And now, some Jewish people and some Palestinians are killing each other.
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I wouldn't mind dying so much if it wasn't that I would be dead at the end of it.
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Who's the bigger idiot, the idiot or the idiot who gets fooled by the idiot?
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We knew the front door was always left open, but we broke in just to keep in practice. Doxy turned all the Washburn family photos to the wall so there wouldn't be any witnesses.
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I keep wondering if there is an afterlife, and if there is will they be able to break a twenty?
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I wish I was writing something much more heavy each time I did a film, and that the comedies just occasionally come out. But unfortunately you're stuck with what you're born with.
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I consider myself a completely lucky filmmaker. I've had nothing but good luck. Everything I've needed has come my way.
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I've been escaping my whole life. Since I was a little child, I escaped into the movies on the other side as an audience member. I escaped by going into the movies and sitting in the movies all day long.
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I am not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
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I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.
Woody Allen
