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Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Problems
Dessert
Comedy
Plate
Bits
Potatoes
Rather
Plates
Funny
Rarely
Pokes
Problem
Meat
Squarely
Like
Drama
Confronts
Humor
Poke

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Rather than live on in the hearts and minds of my fellow man, I would rather live on in my apartment.
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I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
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I never have an alter ego in the movies. That's a fiction that the press has made up over the years, and it's fun to write that. It gives them something to write.
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Do I believe in God? I did until Mother's accident. She fell on some meat loaf and it penetrated her spleen.
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It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies.
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I feel about New York as a child whose father is a bank robber. Not perfect, but I still love him.
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Sygmnd was a poor Austrian who'd lost all the vowels in his name in a boating accident.
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It's very hard to keep your spirits up. You've got to keep selling yourself a bill of goods, and some people are better at lying to themselves than others. If you face reality too much, it kills you.... you've got to find an answer to the question: Why go on?
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The French make two mistakes about me. They think I'm an intellectual because I wear these glasses and they think I'm an artist because my films lose money.
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Death is an acquired trait.
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Usually, you hire people that you think are wonderful.
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To me, movies are valuable as an art form and as a wonderful means of popular entertainment. But I think movies have gone terribly wrong.
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As a boy, I was ashamed to wear glasses. I memorized the eye chart, and then on the test they asked essay questions.
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When a man is driving in a car and looks out the window and notices a woman with a great body, as he strains to check her face out, how does she know to keep turning so the back of her head is always toward him?
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Standard mathematics has recently been rendered obsolete by the discovery that for years we have been writing the numeral five backward. This has led to reevaluation of counting as a method of getting from one to ten. Students are taught advanced concepts of Boolean algebra, and formerly unsolvable equations are dealt with by threats of reprisals.
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There is no justice, there is no rational structure to it [life]. That is just the way it is, and each person figures out some way to cope.
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I see the glass half full...but of poison.
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With me it's just a genetic dissatisfaction with everything.
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I wouldn't necessarily want to be a big muscular guy. It's nice to be gorgeous whether you're male or female assuming you don't lose whatever else you have.
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I consider myself a completely lucky filmmaker. I've had nothing but good luck. Everything I've needed has come my way.
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