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It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Death
Objectively
Stills
Tune
Still
Tunes
Carry
Humor
Impossible
Funny
Experience
More quotes by Woody Allen
I think universal harmony is a pipedream and it may be more productive to focus on more modest goals, like a ban on yodeling.
Woody Allen
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
Woody Allen
Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
Woody Allen
All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.
Woody Allen
I do believe that reality is dreadful and that you are forced to choose it in the end or go crazy, but that it kills you.
Woody Allen
If you take a frown and turn it upside down, the person you are holding by the ankles will soon pass out.
Woody Allen
Talent is luck. The important thing in life is courage.
Woody Allen
The best an idea gets is when its in your head.
Woody Allen
I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate...eh...spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and fly it to Cuba.
Woody Allen
The less I speak to the actors, the better. And I always hire great people, and I don't want to impose my pre-conceived notions on them. They know how to play it.
Woody Allen
When a doctor makes a mistake, it's best to bury the subject.
Woody Allen
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
Woody Allen
I'm twelve years old. I run into a synagogue. I ask the rabbi the meaning of life. He tells me the meaning of life but he tells it to me in Hebrew. I don't understand Hebrew. Then he wants to charge me $600 for Hebrew lessons.
Woody Allen
You use sex to express every emotion except love.
Woody Allen
Life is unresolved, confusing, bewildering, puzzling, ambiguous. You don't really know what's going to happen. The future is uncertain for everybody.
Woody Allen
You're a genius! And the proof is that both common people and intellectuals find your work completely incoherent.
Woody Allen
To you I'm an atheist to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
Woody Allen
I like filming in New York a lot myself, but London is accommodating to me the weather's very good there and the conditions for shooting and the financial conditions, the artistic conditions are good, so it's a pleasant place to shoot.
Woody Allen
My relationship with death remains the same - I'm strongly against it.
Woody Allen
My grandfather had a wonderful funeral... On the buffet table there was a replica of the deceased in potato salad.
Woody Allen
