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It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Stills
Tune
Still
Tunes
Carry
Humor
Impossible
Funny
Experience
Death
Objectively
More quotes by Woody Allen
Notes for a ballet, The Spell: ... Suddenly Sigmund hears the flutter of wings, and a group of wild swans flies across the moon ... Sigmund is astounded to see that their leader is part swan and part woman - unfortunately, divided lengthwise. She enchants Sigmund, who is careful not to make any poultry jokes.
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I'm really a timid person - I was beaten up by Quakers
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In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
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Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that yesterday too, and it rained.
Woody Allen
I don't know enough to be incompetent.
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Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable with the possible exception of a moose singing 'Embraceable You' in spats.
Woody Allen
It's just gossip, you know. Gossip is the new pornography.
Woody Allen
The meaning of life is that nobody knows the meaning of life.
Woody Allen
Of all human weakness obsession is the most dangerous. And the silliest.
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Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
Woody Allen
If my soul exists without my body I am convinced all my clothes will be loose-fitting
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Your audience teaches you how to be funny.
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I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife
Woody Allen
Some of the best memories of my childhood that I have are the times that I played hooky from school so I could spend my days in the public library reading all the wonderful books at my disposal.
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The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.
Woody Allen
This stuff tastes awful I could have made a fortune selling it in my health-food store.
Woody Allen
Believing would be easier if God would show himself by depositing a million dollars in a Swiss bank account in my name
Woody Allen
I'm a comedian. I make comic films and there are certain ideas that occur to me that are comic, with heavy, serious undertones. There are some ideas that are more frivolous to me. The next idea that could occur to me could be comedy about death and famine or something.
Woody Allen
The audience is making the film and not the film-maker.
Woody Allen
I learned a few things on my own since, and modified some of the things he taught me, but everything, unequivocally, that I learned about comedy writing I learned from Danny Simon.
Woody Allen
