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Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Dinner
Dinners
Suck
Bothers
Frozen
Cook
Cooks
Bother
More quotes by Woody Allen
When I'm not working, I think and I think when I get depressed.
Woody Allen
Why ruin a good story with the truth?
Woody Allen
Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed.
Woody Allen
I was the captain of the latent paranoid softball team. We used to play all the neurotics on sunday morning. Nailbiters against the bedwetters, and if you've never seen neurotics play softball, it's really funny. I used to steal second base, and feel guilty and go back.
Woody Allen
I never thought I was doing anyone a favour by bringing children into the world. With people as cruel to each other as they are, it's a terrible proposition. The best of lives are sad and tragic. The best of them. My general conclusion is that it's not a nice thing to do. The world doesn't need it. The kid doesn't need it.
Woody Allen
I have an intense desire to return to the womb. Anybody's.
Woody Allen
The best things in life are censored.
Woody Allen
I don't get depressed I grow a tumor instead.
Woody Allen
Raised by two mothers...wow, most of us barely survive one
Woody Allen
If I just got up in the morning and had no place to go and was retired or something, I would be sitting there and be thinking, Gee, what is the purpose of life? Why are we all finite? Why do we get old and die? Is there nothing out there? Why is it so tragic? Why do our loved ones perish? Why do we generate? Who wants to think about that stuff
Woody Allen
My grandfather had a wonderful funeral... On the buffet table there was a replica of the deceased in potato salad.
Woody Allen
I'm really impotent against the overwhelming bleakness of the universe and the only thing I can do is my little gift [filmmaking] and do it the best I can, [...] which is cold comfort.
Woody Allen
I'm giving [my analyst] one more year--then I'm going to Lourdes.
Woody Allen
You always think another time would have been ideal for you . . . the reality is there was no novocaine when you went to the dentist.
Woody Allen
See, I will always have this penchant for what I call kamikaze women. I call them kamikazes because they, you know they crash their plane, they're self-destructive. But they crash into you, and you die along with them.
Woody Allen
When it comes to sex there are certain things that should always be left unknown, and with my luck, they probably will be.
Woody Allen
To me nature is... spiders and bugs, and big fish eating little fish, and plants eating plans, and animals eating... It's like an enormous restaurant, that's the way I see it.
Woody Allen
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
Woody Allen
I was raised in a religious home. It was unreasonable enforced religion that turned me off it. It was a joyless, unpleasant, stupid, barbaric thing when I was a child and I've never gotten over that feeling. If you're talking about religion it's one thing I don't hold Jewish religion with any more seriousness than I would any other.
Woody Allen
Usually, you hire people that you think are wonderful.
Woody Allen
