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Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Tradition
Illusion

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Paris is particularly beautiful in the rain. It was just a nice experience for me, a pleasant experience, and I was able to present it to the world through my eyes, very subjectively - not realistically, but subjectively.
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I'm twelve years old. I run into a synagogue. I ask the rabbi the meaning of life. He tells me the meaning of life but he tells it to me in Hebrew. I don't understand Hebrew. Then he wants to charge me $600 for Hebrew lessons.
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How am I immature? Intellectually, emotionally, and sexually. Yeah, but in what other ways?
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I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak.
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Sex and death. Two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you're not nauseous.
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I can't understand why more people aren't bisexual. It would double your chances for a date on Saturday night.
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Is there a separation between body and mind, and if so which is it better to have?
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I'm giving [my analyst] one more year--then I'm going to Lourdes.
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When I was a young man, my friends and I and all of us in New York were very influenced by French cinema. French cinema played an enormous influence on those of us who wanted to be filmmakers.
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Doing abominations is against the law, particularly if the abominations are done while wearing a lobster bib.
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Then Job fell to his knees and cried to the Lord, Thine is the kingdom and the power and glory. Thou hast a good job. Don't blow it.
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You can't ride two horses with one behind.
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Maugham then offers the greatest advice anyone could give to a young author: At the end of an interrogation sentence, place a question mark. You'd be surprised how effective it can be.
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What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop?
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Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
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When a film is reviled, you open a film and people say Oh, it's the stupidest thing, it's the worst movie. You think: oh, nobody's going to ever speak to you again. But, it doesn't happen. Nobody cares. You know, they read it and they say Oh, they hated your film. You care, at the time. But they don't. Nobody else cares.
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When a doctor makes a mistake, it's best to bury the subject.
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Even if God exists, he's done such a terrible job, it's a wonder people don't get together and file a class action suit against him.
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If man were immortal, do you realize what his meat bills would be?
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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
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