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Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Life
Divided
Miserable
Horrible
Humor
Funny
More quotes by Woody Allen
The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.
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What I do know about physics is that to a man standing on the shore, time passes quicker than to a man on a boat - especially if the man on the boat is with his wife.
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If I could change the structure of existence I would do it. I could see a better way to live for everybody.
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If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
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If you don't have fun doing the film, then the results of the film will never give you any fun.
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I'm awash in self-contempt!
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What a world. It could be so wonderful if it wasn't for certain people.
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When I naturally write a story and I feel that the guy is sitting across the table from the girl and flirting with her... I think, 'God, that can't be me' because I'm just too old for that part. You need a 30-year-old or a 35-year-old for that part. And so I've given myself less and less roles.
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I've had a very productive life. I've worked very hard, I've never fallen prey to depression. I'm not sure I could have done all of that without being in psychoanalysis.
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I recently turned 60. Practically a third of my life is over.
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I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.
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While we're waiting for a cab I'll give you your lesson for today. Don't listen to what your teachers tell ya, you know. Don't pay attention. Just, just see what they look like and that's how you'll know what life is really gonna be like.
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Life is a concentration camp. You're stuck here and there's no way out and you can only rage impotently against your persecutors.
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I do believe that reality is dreadful and that you are forced to choose it in the end or go crazy, but that it kills you.
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Film is more of novelty, because I've done so much theater over many years. I'm in love with making movies. Also, I find it easier to remember three minutes of dialogue than three hours.
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No one ever wants the whole script. I give the whole script to people who require the whole script but to those people who don't require the whole script I don't give it to them and no one cares. They're relieved not to have to read extra pages that they're not in.
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Me and nature are two.
Woody Allen
Is old age really so terrible? Not if you've brushed your teeth faithfully.
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The wicked at heart probably know something.
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I was in analysis. I was suicidal. As a matter of fact, I would have killed myself, but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian and if you kill yourself they make you pay for the sessions you miss.
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