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Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Life
Divided
Miserable
Horrible
Humor
Funny
More quotes by Woody Allen
I'm a big believer in supporting the action on film with the appropriate music. It covers a multitude of sins. It's gotten me out of a lot of jams, over the years. So, music for me is a very big thing in films and I use it unashamedly.
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My parents were very Old World. They come from Brooklyn, which is the heart of the Old World. Their values in life are God and carpeting.
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Some people are funny, and some people are not funny. Many people who are not funny can make a living at it. You don't have to be great to make a living at it. Just like a doctor who doesn't have to be great can still make a living out of it.
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Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
Woody Allen
It's funny. Maria Elena and I, we are meant for each other and not meant for each other, it's a contradiction.
Woody Allen
We live in far too permissive a society. Never before has pornography been this rampant. And those films are so badly lit!
Woody Allen
Nothing worth knowing can be understood with the mind.
Woody Allen
My relationship with death remains the same - I'm strongly against it.
Woody Allen
You can't anticipate in the room the riches of what you encounter when you're location hunting for a movie.
Woody Allen
Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately, no one we know belongs.
Woody Allen
You'll find as you go through life that great depth and smoldering sensuality don't always win.
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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen I want to live on in my apartment.
Woody Allen
I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
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Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
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I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
Woody Allen
My wife is immature. Whenever I take a bath, she sinks my boats.
Woody Allen
If you take a frown and turn it upside down, the person you are holding by the ankles will soon pass out.
Woody Allen
That (sex) was the most fun I ever had without laughing.
Woody Allen
Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
Woody Allen
Believing would be easier if God would show himself by depositing a million dollars in a Swiss bank account in my name
Woody Allen
