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When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Parents
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Rooms
Parent
Rented
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Kidnapped
Action
Snapped
Parenthood
Room
More quotes by Woody Allen
I can't do anything to death, doctor's orders.
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Once munching has begun, Schopenhauer held, the human will cannot resist further munching, and the result is a universe with crumbs over everything.
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Even if God exists, he's done such a terrible job, it's a wonder people don't get together and file a class action suit against him.
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Sex is better than talk. Ask anybody in this bar. Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.
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If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.
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Taste my tuna casserole - tell me if I put in too much hot fudge.
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When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.
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I'm trying to arrange my life so I don't have to be present.
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Achilles only had an Achilles heel, I have an entire Achilles body.
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Fantasy is seductive and much more wonderful than reality, but you can't take it to the bank. It's always an escape. And if used as an escape, as in attending a movie or a show for a circumscribed period of time, it's fine. When it starts to become undifferentiated from reality, it leads to big trouble.
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I'm a terrible musician. While the band members are great, I'm tolerated and affectionately regarded because I do movies, but if I had to make my living as a musician I would starve. I'm like a Sunday tennis player.
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I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
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People always tease me. They say, look at you, you went for so much psychoanalysis and you're so neurotic, you wind up marrying a girl so much younger than you.
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I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.
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. . . they confuse everything I do with my life.
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I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time. She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic.
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I think Hollywood has gone in a disastrous path. It's terrible. The years of cinema that were great were the '30s, '40s, not so much the '50s...but then the foreign films took over and it was a great age of cinema as American directors were influenced by them and that fueled the '50s and '60s and '70s.
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In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.
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I work all the time because it's a great distraction and it keeps me from sitting home and obsessing morbidly.
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Magic has always been of a great interest of mine. I was an amateur magician when I was young. I used to practice and read up on it a lot. I'm well-aware of the history of magic.
Woody Allen
