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When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Parenthood
Room
Parents
Humor
Rooms
Parent
Rented
Funny
Kidnapped
Action
Snapped
More quotes by Woody Allen
By now they had mastered my own language, but they still made simple mistakes, like using 'hermeneutics,' when they meant 'heuristic'.
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She had been critical of his new torch song, A Side Order of Heartache, Please, suggesting it could be used as a good way to break in their new paper shredder.
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It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
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If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.
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I think there is too much wrong with the world to ever get too relaxed and happy. The more natural state, and the better one, I think, is one of some anxiety and tension over man's plight in this mysterious universe.
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That (sex) was the most fun I ever had without laughing.
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I don't get depressed I grow a tumor instead.
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I didn't believe in reincarnation in my past life, and I still don't.
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I'm trying to arrange my life so I don't have to be present.
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The key point about a demonstration is that it must be seen. Hence the term demonstration. If a person demonstrates privately in his own home, this is not technically a demonstration but merely acting silly or behaving like an ass.
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I can live in Paris for four months or London or, you know, Barcelona. These are places that are like New York. But I don't think I could live in many places. When I had to make a film in the United States I picked San Francisco because to me it's one of the great cities of America.
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I'm very old-fashioned. I believe that people should stay married for life, like pigeons and Catholics.
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I don't know what the hell I'm doing here. I'm 237 years old, I should be collecting social security.
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Usually, you hire people that you think are wonderful.
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I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.
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There is dignity in suffering nobility in pain but failure is a salted wound, that burns and burns again!
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Show business is dog eat dog. It's worse than dog eat dog. It's dog doesn't return dog's phone calls.
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Sylvia Plath. Interesting poetess whose tragic suicide was misinterpreted as romantic by the college-girl mentality.
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I learned a few things on my own since, and modified some of the things he taught me, but everything, unequivocally, that I learned about comedy writing I learned from Danny Simon.
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Sex on Twitter can't hurt you - unless you fall off.
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