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When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Parents
Humor
Rooms
Parent
Rented
Funny
Kidnapped
Action
Snapped
Parenthood
Room
More quotes by Woody Allen
He's a politician. That's a notch below child molester.
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. . . they confuse everything I do with my life.
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Science is an intellectual dead end, you know? It's a lot of little guys in tweed suits cutting up frogs on foundation grants.
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I don't want to live forever through my work. I want to live forever by not dying.
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The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5' 7, it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.
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I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
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Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
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Your audience teaches you how to be funny.
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I'm going to my psychoanalyst one more year, then I'm going to Lourdes.
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I keep getting more and more ambitious. Over the years, to some degree, in some areas, I feel I've grown. In some areas, I made a fool of myself. In some areas, I think I can still do some funny things.
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I write about what I want to write about, and so the film comes out as a very personal expression even if its subject matter is totally prefabricated.
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Comedians have a tendency to have a limited range, they tend to do one thing and do it very well, but it's limited.
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I don't wanna live on in my work. I wanna live on in my apartment.
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A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense.
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How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen I want to live on in my apartment.
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I don't like to reminisce much, and my walls don't have photographs of me and the actors I was with, or any of that stuff... I try and keep that disciplined, and just work. There are so many traps you can get into, and looking back on your own work is certainly one of them.
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The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.
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I have an intense desire to return to the womb. Anybody's.
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Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
Woody Allen
