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When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Room
Parents
Humor
Rooms
Parent
Rented
Funny
Kidnapped
Action
Snapped
Parenthood
More quotes by Woody Allen
To me there’s no real difference between a fortune teller or a fortune cookie and any of the organized religions. They’re all equally valid or invalid, really. And equally helpful.
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Don't you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we're left-wing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here.
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I'm trying to arrange my life so I don't have to be present.
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I do believe that reality is dreadful and that you are forced to choose it in the end or go crazy, but that it kills you.
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Nothing like a little post-traumatic stress disorder to make your day complete.
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In a relationship, it is better to be the leaver than the leavee.
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I'm afraid of the dark,and suspicious of the light.
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I took a puff of the wrong cigarette at a fraternity dance once, and the cops had to get me, y'know. I broke two teeth trying to give a hickie to the Statue of Liberty.
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The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
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There's no rhyme or reason to anything that I do. It's whatever seems right at the time.
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Isn't all mankind ultimately executed for a crime it never committed?
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In certain areas I don't function well and in other areas I function very well. I'm very good professionally. I have good discipline, I'm able to write every day and do films and not go six times over the budget. I mean I'm a coherent person, but I also don't like to go through tunnels when I travel. I'm claustrophobic.
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It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies.
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Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
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I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time. She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic.
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I like writing. It keeps my mind off grim subjects. It's therapeutic in the same way a patient in an institution is given fingerpaints.
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My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
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I sued American Apparel because they calculatingly took my name, my likeness and image and used them publicly to promote their business.
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My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign
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The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty.
Woody Allen