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I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
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The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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Bears
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Teddy
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Parenting
More quotes by Woody Allen
See, I never gain an ounce, because, you know, my anxiety acts like aerobics.
Woody Allen
History is the same thing over and over again.
Woody Allen
There are three things Jewish people worship-God, Chinese food and wall-to-wall carpeting.
Woody Allen
Take the money and run.
Woody Allen
My relationship with American audiences is the exact same as it always has been. They never came to see my films, and they don't come now.
Woody Allen
I believe people ought to mate for life...like pigeons or Catholics.
Woody Allen
Sex is better than talk. Ask anybody in this bar. Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.
Woody Allen
I don't want to be immortal through my works. I want to be immortal by not dying.
Woody Allen
I came home one night, some month ago, and I went to the closet in my bedroom...and a moth ate my sports jacket. He was laying on the floor, nauseous, y'know.
Woody Allen
If I can play a scene in a master shot, I always prefer it. And the actors always prefer it. It's fun to look at on the screen, the actors get a chance to sink their teeth into something substantial, and it's economically helpful.
Woody Allen
The audience is making the film and not the film-maker.
Woody Allen
I can't express anger. I grow a tumor instead.
Woody Allen
Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
Woody Allen
Since I was a kid, I could make up stories, I could make up funny jokes and I could always do it. When I'm walking down the street or having dinner, ideas will hit me, and I write them down on matchbooks or napkins and throw them in the draw.
Woody Allen
There's no point in looking back, because there's nothing you can really do to improve the film. You can only aggravate and wish you had done stuff better.
Woody Allen
I didn't go to Paris until I was a grown-up in 1965. And when I went to Paris, it was the Paris I knew only from American movies.
Woody Allen
I hope you're getting this down.
Woody Allen
Whosoever loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.
Woody Allen
To me there’s no real difference between a fortune teller or a fortune cookie and any of the organized religions. They’re all equally valid or invalid, really. And equally helpful.
Woody Allen
If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.
Woody Allen
