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I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Think
Thinking
Choice
Comedy
Choices
Anyone
Funny
Firsts
First
More quotes by Woody Allen
I don't know what the hell I'm doing here. I'm 237 years old, I should be collecting social security.
Woody Allen
The difference between sex and death is, death you can do alone and nobody laughs at you.
Woody Allen
Since I was a kid, I could make up stories, I could make up funny jokes and I could always do it. When I'm walking down the street or having dinner, ideas will hit me, and I write them down on matchbooks or napkins and throw them in the draw.
Woody Allen
Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
Woody Allen
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Woody Allen
Fantasy is only a state of mind that you can employ when existing in a real context.
Woody Allen
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?
Woody Allen
To me, movies are valuable as an art form and as a wonderful means of popular entertainment. But I think movies have gone terribly wrong.
Woody Allen
The true test of maturity is not how old a person is but how he reacts to awakening in the mid-town area in his shorts.
Woody Allen
I'm a creature of the New York City streets.
Woody Allen
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
Woody Allen
I should go to Paris and jump off of the Eiffel Tower. If I took the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier.
Woody Allen
You make a film and always hope you're going make Citizen Kane or The Bicycle Thief. You make the film, and for one reason or another, one clicks and one doesn't, but it's out of your control completely.
Woody Allen
You can't ride two horses with one behind.
Woody Allen
I don't like theatrical actors and actresses. I like people that talk like real human beings.
Woody Allen
The meaning of life is that nobody knows the meaning of life.
Woody Allen
I wonder if Socrates and Plato took a house on Crete during the summer.
Woody Allen
Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with.
Woody Allen
I'd like to make a great movie. I've made many movies. I think I've made some good movies, but I never felt I've made a great movie.
Woody Allen
[The universe is] haphazard, morally neutral, and unimaginably violent.
Woody Allen
