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I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Choices
Anyone
Funny
Firsts
First
Think
Thinking
Choice
Comedy
More quotes by Woody Allen
I do occasionally envy the person who is religious naturally, without being brainwashed into it or suckered into it by all the organized hustles.
Woody Allen
I took a puff of the wrong cigarette at a fraternity dance once, and the cops had to get me, y'know. I broke two teeth trying to give a hickie to the Statue of Liberty.
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Every hooker I ever speak to tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing.
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Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
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The only love that lasts is unrequited love.
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A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense.
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Dying is like making love, except you don't get naseous afterwards.
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You can't ride two horses with one behind.
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All over the world, relationships between men and women are very, very tricky and very difficult and you don't learn anything. It's not an exact science, so you can't learn anything. You're always going by instinct and your instinct betrays you because you want what you want when you want it.
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When I am in New York, I want to be in Europe, and when I am in Europe, I want to be in New York.
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I've had a very productive life. I've worked very hard, I've never fallen prey to depression. I'm not sure I could have done all of that without being in psychoanalysis.
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Achilles only had an Achilles heel, I have an entire Achilles body.
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Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.
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I prefer the magic to reality, and have since I was 5 years old. Hopefully, I can continue to make films and constantly escape into them.
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Don't worry, I know almost exactly what I'm doing.
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There will be no major solution to the suffering of humanity until we reach some understanding of who we are, what the purpose of creation was, what happens after death. Until those questions are resolved we are caught.
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How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
Woody Allen
I work all the time because it's a great distraction and it keeps me from sitting home and obsessing morbidly.
Woody Allen
If you are not failing now and again, its a sign you are not doing anything very innovative
Woody Allen
I was in analysis for years because of a traumatic childhood I was breast-fed through falsies.
Woody Allen
