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Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Beer
Students
Drink
Move
Achieve
Moving
Book
Achieving
Oneness

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You know what my philosophy of life is? That it’s important to have some laughs, but you got to suffer a little too, because otherwise you miss the whole point to life.
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How am I immature? Intellectually, emotionally, and sexually. Yeah, but in what other ways?
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I'm at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me I'm profoundly grateful to her.
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Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!
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Paris is particularly beautiful in the rain. It was just a nice experience for me, a pleasant experience, and I was able to present it to the world through my eyes, very subjectively - not realistically, but subjectively.
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I said this to my daughter, if you don't practice the guitar, when you get older you wouldn't be able to play it. It's that simple. If you want to play the guitar, you put a half hour in everyday, but you have to do it.
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Sex and death. Two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you're not nauseous.
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The true test of maturity is not how old a person is but how he reacts to awakening in the mid-town area in his shorts.
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I never start editing a film until it's completely shot I don't edit along the way, ever. When it's finished I come in here [screening room] and we start with reel one, scene one and start editing shot by shot by shot until we're finished.
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How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
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By now they had mastered my own language, but they still made simple mistakes, like using 'hermeneutics,' when they meant 'heuristic'.
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Where I grew up in Brooklyn, nobody committed suicide. Everyone was too unhappy.
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I'm very old-fashioned. I believe that people should stay married for life, like pigeons and Catholics.
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It's just gossip, you know. Gossip is the new pornography.
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She had been critical of his new torch song, A Side Order of Heartache, Please, suggesting it could be used as a good way to break in their new paper shredder.
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Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
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It's funny. Maria Elena and I, we are meant for each other and not meant for each other, it's a contradiction.
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I was walking through the woods, thinking about Christ. If He was a carpenter, I wondered what He charged for bookshelves.
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