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If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Person
Witty
Done
Humorous
Feel
Miserable
Feels
Films
Make
Funny
Jobs
Film
Persons

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I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
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All my life is passing in front of my eyes. The worst part of it is I'm driving a used car.
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I don't mind dying... as long as I don't have to be there when it happens.
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People still have existential anxiety. It just may not be expressed in Hebraic idiom.
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It has become harder and harder in the United States to make films unhampered by outside influences. I've always been able to steer clear of that and keep the business people out of my hair completely.
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When you are dead, it is hard to find the light switch.
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Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
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My experience creatively is different than my experience in life, for, as my father would say, the simple reason that you can't get hurt when everything goes wrong creatively.
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My heart says one thing. My head says another. Very hard to get your heart and head together in life.
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I've always been interested in being in other people's movies. I never get any offers.
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The content dictates the style all the time. That's the way it is. If the content of the film - as in Husbands and Wives - is highly jagged, neurotic, fast-paced, nervous New York film, it just called for that kind of shooting, editing and performance.
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Dying is like making love, except you don't get naseous afterwards.
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I always feel the cynicism is reality with maybe an alternate spelling or something because I feel that I have real perspective on this particular issue of punishment in society.
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I've always had an easy time directing actors because I always hire ones that are great before I get my hands on them.
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Men would make love with any number of women ... even total strangers, while females were selective. They were catering to the demands of one small egg. While males had millions of frantic sperms screaming: Let us out, let us out!.
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The heart wants what it wants.
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I like filming in New York a lot myself, but London is accommodating to me the weather's very good there and the conditions for shooting and the financial conditions, the artistic conditions are good, so it's a pleasant place to shoot.
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When I was born my mother was terribly disappointed. Not that she wanted a girl - she wanted a divorce.
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If man were immortal, do you realize what his meat bills would be?
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Achilles only had an Achilles heel, I have an entire Achilles body.
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