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If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
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Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
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The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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Film
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More quotes by Woody Allen
Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that yesterday too, and it rained.
Woody Allen
I was raised in a religious home. It was unreasonable enforced religion that turned me off it. It was a joyless, unpleasant, stupid, barbaric thing when I was a child and I've never gotten over that feeling. If you're talking about religion it's one thing I don't hold Jewish religion with any more seriousness than I would any other.
Woody Allen
Reality may not be the best of all possible worlds, but it's still the only place where you can get a decent steak.
Woody Allen
The best things in life are censored.
Woody Allen
I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.
Woody Allen
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
Woody Allen
For God sakes, this is a woman I was married to for 10 years. We made love. I'd hold her head over the toilet bowl when she threw up.
Woody Allen
You know, it's one thing about intellectuals, they prove that you can be absolutely brilliant and have no idea what's going on.
Woody Allen
I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
Woody Allen
Please forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe. It required bandaging.
Woody Allen
[Stanley] Kubrick was a great artist and a perfectionist. He always wanted the exact right thing. He did a million takes. Everything had to be perfect. I'm an imperfectionist. I don't really care that much about the work. I write quickly. I'm careless. I shoot carelessly.
Woody Allen
Why not? Life is short, life is dull, life is full of pain - and this is a chance for something special.
Woody Allen
Science is an intellectual dead end, you know? It's a lot of little guys in tweed suits cutting up frogs on foundation grants.
Woody Allen
How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
Woody Allen
My experience creatively is different than my experience in life, for, as my father would say, the simple reason that you can't get hurt when everything goes wrong creatively.
Woody Allen
When you make the film, there's a big difference between when you're in your own home at the typewriter, and when you're standing on a mountain, or on a street corner, and buses are coming by-it's a different reality. You make a million changes that were never in the script, but that reality dictates.
Woody Allen
I can do a limited amount of things and that's what I do and I feel comfortable doing it and I have no particular desire to do anything else as an actor.
Woody Allen
Me sitting down for dinner with Ingmar Bergman felt like a house painter sitting down with Picasso.
Woody Allen
I've always believed that thoughtful people don't really take the tabloids seriously. They're basically a form of entertainment. I enjoy them as much as the next New Yorker.
Woody Allen
When a man is driving in a car and looks out the window and notices a woman with a great body, as he strains to check her face out, how does she know to keep turning so the back of her head is always toward him?
Woody Allen
