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I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Never
Intelligent
Intellectual
Humor
Funny
Look
Looks

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Chastity is curable, if detected early.
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When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.
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If I just got up in the morning and had no place to go and was retired or something, I would be sitting there and be thinking, Gee, what is the purpose of life? Why are we all finite? Why do we get old and die? Is there nothing out there? Why is it so tragic? Why do our loved ones perish? Why do we generate? Who wants to think about that stuff
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People always tease me. They say, look at you, you went for so much psychoanalysis and you're so neurotic, you wind up marrying a girl so much younger than you.
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All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
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Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge. Others only gargle.
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What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop?
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I don't believe in an afterlife, but I'm taking an extra pair of underwear just in case.
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I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
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You know what my philosophy of life is? That it’s important to have some laughs, but you got to suffer a little too, because otherwise you miss the whole point to life.
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It's funny. Maria Elena and I, we are meant for each other and not meant for each other, it's a contradiction.
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Sometimes some of the best moments are contributed by the actors being creative, with their own improvisations.
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My grandfather was a very insignificant man, actually. At his funeral his hearse followed the other cars.
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I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
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Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
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Who's the bigger idiot, the idiot or the idiot who gets fooled by the idiot?
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The artist can't give you an answer that's satisfying to the dreadful reality of your existence. So the best you can do is maybe entertain people and refresh them for an hour-and-a-half.
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When I was born my mother was terribly disappointed. Not that she wanted a girl - she wanted a divorce.
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I can live in Paris for four months or London or, you know, Barcelona. These are places that are like New York. But I don't think I could live in many places. When I had to make a film in the United States I picked San Francisco because to me it's one of the great cities of America.
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The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.
Woody Allen