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I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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Two
Reflexes
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Guys
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Funny
More quotes by Woody Allen
I can levitate birds. No one cares.
Woody Allen
And Nietzche, with his theory of eternal recurrence. He said that the life we lived we're going to live over again the exact same way for eternity. Great. That means I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.
Woody Allen
Sex is better than talk. Ask anybody in this bar. Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.
Woody Allen
I don't like to meet the actor and have a lot of conferences and talk about their sub-life and their off-screen life and their back stories and all that nonsense, because it never means anything.
Woody Allen
My mother never had time for me. When you're the middle child in a family of five million, you don't get any attention.
Woody Allen
When you write the script, you're home in a room by yourself, and you're writing, and there's no connection with the real performing world. So you get a lot of things wrong and make a lot of mistakes and make a lot of bad choices.
Woody Allen
You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.
Woody Allen
I believe people ought to mate for life...like pigeons or Catholics.
Woody Allen
If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.
Woody Allen
The heart wants what it wants.
Woody Allen
When you are dead, it is hard to find the light switch.
Woody Allen
Is world peace possible or is the human race too innately aggressive? For instance: Have you ever seen women at a sample sale?
Woody Allen
The audience goes to sleep really quickly! If you have a slight pause at the wrong time, that's it!
Woody Allen
I don't fear death. - I just don't want to be around when it happens.
Woody Allen
You are always a comedian by default. You are this way because you've been forced to be this way, but it is better to be the hero. So if you can be a persona, the great one of my lifetime of course was and is Marlon Brando.
Woody Allen
I was a smart kid and I was not understood by my parents.
Woody Allen
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
Woody Allen
I feel about New York as a child whose father is a bank robber. Not perfect, but I still love him.
Woody Allen
Never shoot up in the air when you're standing under it.
Woody Allen
The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought, particularly for those who bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily laying down.
Woody Allen
