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In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Humor
Funny
Away
Garbage
Shows
Sarcastic
Make
Witty
Humorous
California
Throw
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Reality may not be the best of all possible worlds, but it's still the only place where you can get a decent steak.
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Sygmnd was a poor Austrian who'd lost all the vowels in his name in a boating accident.
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Sometimes the critics will like a film, and the public doesn't come. Sometimes the critics won't like the film, and the public will come. It's completely spontaneous. It's a hazard.
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And Nietzche, with his theory of eternal recurrence. He said that the life we lived we're going to live over again the exact same way for eternity. Great. That means I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.
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Chastity is curable, if detected early.
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I believe in sex and death- two experiences that come once in a lifetime.
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For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have.
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How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
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What advice would I give the average homeowner to protect himself against burglars? Well, the first thing is to keep a light on in the house when you go out. It must be at least a sixty-watt bulb anything less and the burglar will ransack the house, out of contempt for the wattage.
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If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.
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Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
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I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
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The whole country was tied together by radio. We all experienced the same heroes and comedians and singers. They were giants.
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Someday the lion is going to lie down with the lamb, but the lamb isn't going to get much sleep.
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Early in life, I was visited by the bluebird of anxiety
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I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
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See, I never gain an ounce, because, you know, my anxiety acts like aerobics.
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I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
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If you pursue the other woman, it's a losing situation and it's not good for your relationship or your marriage. If your marriage is open and you're allowed to, that's no good either. There's no way, really in the end, to be happy unless you get very lucky.
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If you are not failing now and again, its a sign you are not doing anything very innovative
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