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In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Throw
Humor
Funny
Away
Garbage
Shows
Sarcastic
Make
Witty
Humorous
California
More quotes by Woody Allen
Culturally speaking, I was raised in a Jewish household. In addition to the religious side of it, I was taught respect for books and learning and the higher professions like medicine and law and teaching.
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My parents stayed together for forty years. But that was out of spite.
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I think that the tendency for most people is to fall back on a comic interpretation of things because things are so sad, so terrible. If you didn't laugh you'd kill yourself. But the truth of the matter is that existence in general is very very tragic, very very sad, very brutal and very unhappy.
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Boy, the food at this place is really terrible. The other one says, Yeah, I know and such small portions. Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly.
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You're a genius! And the proof is that both common people and intellectuals find your work completely incoherent.
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Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful provided you get between the right man and the right woman.
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I know of only six genuine comic geniuses in movie history Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Groucho Marx & Harpo Marx, Peter Sellers, and W.C. Fields.
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I could turn on my radio in the morning when I was getting dressed for school and hear Frank Sinatra and Duke Ellington and Benny Goodman and think this is the music. Now that music is art. Ellington is art. At that time it was just what you heard on the radio. Cole Porter was just a guy who wrote pretty songs and Billie Holliday would sing them.
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Those who can't do, teach!
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Fantasy is only a state of mind that you can employ when existing in a real context.
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I think it's my job or the artist's job, to try and find some solution or some reason to accept things. But given the grimmest reality, I feel the grimmest facts are the real facts, the true facts: that you're born, you die, you suffer, it's to no purpose, and you're gone forever, ever, ever, and that's it.
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When I first started, there were writers that I looked up to that I felt very influenced by and very respectful toward their work and their opinion of my work.
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The most important words in the English language are not 'I love you' but 'it's benign.'
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Life is like a concentration camp... you can't leave without dying.
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When you work from city to city or country to country, you work the same way the working method is the same.
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Since I was a kid, I could make up stories, I could make up funny jokes and I could always do it. When I'm walking down the street or having dinner, ideas will hit me, and I write them down on matchbooks or napkins and throw them in the draw.
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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
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Life is horrible, but it is not relentlessly black from wire to wire. You can sit down and hear a Mozart symphony, or you can watch the Marx Brothers, and this will give you a pleasant escape for a while. And that is about the best that you can do.
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It's just gossip, you know. Gossip is the new pornography.
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I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.
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