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I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Enough
Astounded
Hard
Metaphysics
Way
Humor
People
Funny
Universe
Science
Around
Find
Chinatown
More quotes by Woody Allen
To me, movies are valuable as an art form and as a wonderful means of popular entertainment. But I think movies have gone terribly wrong.
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Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could not blink my eyes in unison. — If The Impressionists Had Been Dentists
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Better not think too much. Relying more on the body: it is more trustworthy.
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Nothing worth knowing can be understood with the mind.
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If you are not failing now and again, its a sign you are not doing anything very innovative
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Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
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I was the captain of the latent paranoid softball team. We used to play all the neurotics on sunday morning. Nailbiters against the bedwetters, and if you've never seen neurotics play softball, it's really funny. I used to steal second base, and feel guilty and go back.
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I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants.
Woody Allen
When I am in New York, I want to be in Europe, and when I am in Europe, I want to be in New York.
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I have a great admiration for English actors and actresses and have used them at every opportunity over the years, but now I won't have to import them to New York.
Woody Allen
He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
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See, I will always have this penchant for what I call kamikaze women. I call them kamikazes because they, you know they crash their plane, they're self-destructive. But they crash into you, and you die along with them.
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The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.
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There is always the possibility that people will change. Real change is more rare. You are who you are at a certain age in life you are pretty much a variation of that your whole life. It's conceivable that you will change but it's not likely.
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Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime.
Woody Allen
The dictatorship is shut up, democracy is always concerned.
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When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
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In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.
Woody Allen
It's important to control yourself because life gets too complicated if you don't, but the impulse is often there for people. Some say society should be more open. That doesn't work either.
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Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
Woody Allen
