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I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Hard
Metaphysics
Way
Humor
People
Funny
Universe
Science
Around
Find
Chinatown
Enough
Astounded
More quotes by Woody Allen
I'm at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me I'm profoundly grateful to her.
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If you can delude yourself by believing that there is some kind of Santa Claus out there who is going to bail you out in the end, then it will help you get through. Even if you are proven wrong in the end, you would have had a better life than a non-believer.
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The difference between sex and death is, death you can do alone and nobody laughs at you.
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If I could only see one miracle, just one miracle. Like a burning bush, or the seas part, or my uncle Sasha pick up a check.
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I don't fear death. - I just don't want to be around when it happens.
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We stand at a crossroads. One path leads to despair, the other to destruction. Let's hope we make the right choice.
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None of the arts are any good unless you really are great at them.
Woody Allen
In the event of war, I'm a hostage.
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Fantasy is only a state of mind that you can employ when existing in a real context.
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Have you ever noticed that good people sleep better, but bad people seem to have more fun when they're awake?
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I keep getting more and more ambitious. Over the years, to some degree, in some areas, I feel I've grown. In some areas, I made a fool of myself. In some areas, I think I can still do some funny things.
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What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
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I have one last request. Don't use embalming fluid on me I want to be stuffed with crab meat.
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If you aren't failing every now and then, you're probably playing it too safe.
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The only thing standing between me and greatness is me.
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It's a wonderful thing to be able to create your own world whenever you want to.
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How the hell do I know why there were Nazis? I don't know how the can-opener works.
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Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
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Eighty percent of success is showing up.
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If you aren't failing, you aren't trying.
Woody Allen
