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Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Food
Kills
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Frequently
Doe
Alcohol
Reason
Cooking
Must
Killing
Men
Kill
Drink
Beverage
Humor
Beverages
More quotes by Woody Allen
The difference between sex and death is, death you can do alone and nobody laughs at you.
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I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.
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People ask me whether I think that one day I might wake up one morning and run dry, but I've had the opposite feeling - that I would die before I had time to write all the ideas in my drawer.
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I don't think my film style has changed. I'm doing the same kind of jokes I did when I was younger.
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I've always believed that thoughtful people don't really take the tabloids seriously. They're basically a form of entertainment. I enjoy them as much as the next New Yorker.
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See, I will always have this penchant for what I call kamikaze women. I call them kamikazes because they, you know they crash their plane, they're self-destructive. But they crash into you, and you die along with them.
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I could turn on my radio in the morning when I was getting dressed for school and hear Frank Sinatra and Duke Ellington and Benny Goodman and think this is the music. Now that music is art. Ellington is art. At that time it was just what you heard on the radio. Cole Porter was just a guy who wrote pretty songs and Billie Holliday would sing them.
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If you can delude yourself by believing that there is some kind of Santa Claus out there who is going to bail you out in the end, then it will help you get through. Even if you are proven wrong in the end, you would have had a better life than a non-believer.
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I know of only six genuine comic geniuses in movie history Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Groucho Marx & Harpo Marx, Peter Sellers, and W.C. Fields.
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Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
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Then Job fell to his knees and cried to the Lord, Thine is the kingdom and the power and glory. Thou hast a good job. Don't blow it.
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My grammy never gave gifts, you know. She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks.
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Take the money and run.
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I was a nervous child, I was a bedwetter. I used to sleep with an electric blanket and I was constantly electrocuting myself.
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The heart wants what it wants. There's no logic to these things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that's that.
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When it comes to sex there are certain things that should always be left unknown, and with my luck, they probably will be.
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Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.
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I write about what I want to write about, and so the film comes out as a very personal expression even if its subject matter is totally prefabricated.
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I have one last request. Don't use embalming fluid on me I want to be stuffed with crab meat.
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I cannot say for certain that God does not exist I think the worst thing that can be said about him is that he's a bit of an underachiever.
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