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Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Food
Kills
Funny
Frequently
Doe
Alcohol
Reason
Cooking
Must
Killing
Men
Kill
Drink
Beverage
Humor
Beverages
More quotes by Woody Allen
I've always been lucky in casting. The trick in casting is to hire great people, and let them do what they do, don't interfere with them too much. And then when they're great, take credit for it in the end.
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My mind can never know my body, although it has become quite friendly with my legs.
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We knew the front door was always left open, but we broke in just to keep in practice. Doxy turned all the Washburn family photos to the wall so there wouldn't be any witnesses.
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You can be with your wife, very happily married, and then you meet some woman and you love her. But you love your wife, too. And you also love that one. Or if she's met some man and she loves the man and she loves you. And then you meet somebody else and now there are three of you. Why only one person?
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No one ever wants the whole script. I give the whole script to people who require the whole script but to those people who don't require the whole script I don't give it to them and no one cares. They're relieved not to have to read extra pages that they're not in.
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Dying is like making love, except you don't get naseous afterwards.
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Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
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If I had my choice in life I would have had the gifts of Tennessee Williams or Eugene O'Neill. Unfortunately my gifts lie in comedy and so comedy comes fairly easy to me and I occasionally have an idea for a very serious piece and I do it, but the ideas don't come that readily to me.
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I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.
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Writing is great because in the writing you never have to... First of all you never have to leave your home. And you never have to meet the test of reality when you're writing.
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I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
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I am not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
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The history of the world is like: He kills me, I kill him, only with different cosmetics and different castings. So in 2001, some fanatics killed some Americans, and now some Americans are killing some Iraqis. And in my childhood, some Nazis killed Jews. And now, some Jewish people and some Palestinians are killing each other.
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When a doctor makes a mistake, it's best to bury the subject.
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When you travel around the country, you see what a tough town New York is: rude, competitive, a town where good, logical ideas are ignored in favor of unworkable ones. And yet, all these other towns are so dead and boring compared to New York.
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I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
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Even if God exists, he's done such a terrible job, it's a wonder people don't get together and file a class action suit against him.
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Rather than live on in the hearts and minds of my fellow man, I would rather live on in my apartment.
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I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
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The audience goes to sleep really quickly! If you have a slight pause at the wrong time, that's it!
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