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Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Trying
Witty
Humorous
Atheist
Findings
Finding
God
Plumber
Funny
Agnostic
Inspirational
Sunday
More quotes by Woody Allen
Does art imitate life, or does life imitate TV?
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Well, trouble's my middle name. Actually, my middle name is Marion, but I don't want you spreading that around.
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If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Warren Beatty's fingertips.
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The roe is reputed to sleep for a thousand years and then suddenly rise in flames, particularly if it was smoking when it dozed off.
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My experience creatively is different than my experience in life, for, as my father would say, the simple reason that you can't get hurt when everything goes wrong creatively.
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People say that death is a part of life and there must be something to it, but I just see it as bad news and I want everybody to stop sugarcoating it.
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You make films whether they're dramas or comedies about neurotic people. Flawed people. Interesting personality traits. To make them about calm, stable untroubled people isn't interesting.
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That's the way I feel about the world: there are certain problems that can only be dealt with that way - going out and doing them. As ugly a truth as that is, I do think it's the truth about the world.
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Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful provided you get between the right man and the right woman.
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I think there is too much wrong with the world to ever get too relaxed and happy. The more natural state, and the better one, I think, is one of some anxiety and tension over man's plight in this mysterious universe.
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There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
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One of the interesting things is, the most gifted people, the biggest people, have no problem taking small roles.
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Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.
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How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
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Can you believe that? She says I'm not leader enough for her. Who was she looking for... Hitler?
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Sometimes the critics will like a film, and the public doesn't come. Sometimes the critics won't like the film, and the public will come. It's completely spontaneous. It's a hazard.
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I learned a few things on my own since, and modified some of the things he taught me, but everything, unequivocally, that I learned about comedy writing I learned from Danny Simon.
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I keep wondering if there is an afterlife, and if there is will they be able to break a twenty?
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I've always been interested in being in other people's movies. I never get any offers.
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There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?
Woody Allen
