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I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Culinary
Wounded
Witty
Cooking
Sick
Eating
Dieting
Dead
Cuisine
Food
Oysters

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There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
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Then Job fell to his knees and cried to the Lord, Thine is the kingdom and the power and glory. Thou hast a good job. Don't blow it.
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I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
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Science is an intellectual dead end, you know? It's a lot of little guys in tweed suits cutting up frogs on foundation grants.
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The heart wants what it wants. There's no logic to these things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that's that.
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I never considered myself an artist. I aspire to be an artist, but I never thought I had the depth or substance or gift to be an artist. I do think I have some talent, but it doesn't go as far as being an artist.
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My gift was in comedy. I found out I could make jokes. I could tell jokes. I could write them. So over the years, that's what I've done.
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All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.
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Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
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In life, one is entitled to a side dish of either coleslaw or potato salad, and the choice must be made in terror, with the knowledge that not only is our time on earth limited but most kitchens close at ten.
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A general philosophy of the female characters in my films is they all want something to believe in, and not having anything.
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If the [actors] are working, and I have a dinner engagement, I don't do 20 takes. I do five takes and go home. I want to go to dinner.
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I sued American Apparel because they calculatingly took my name, my likeness and image and used them publicly to promote their business.
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Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
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I believe people ought to mate for life...like pigeons or Catholics.
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If you don't have fun doing the film, then the results of the film will never give you any fun.
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I think Hollywood has gone in a disastrous path. It's terrible. The years of cinema that were great were the '30s, '40s, not so much the '50s...but then the foreign films took over and it was a great age of cinema as American directors were influenced by them and that fueled the '50s and '60s and '70s.
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