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I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Eating
Dieting
Dead
Cuisine
Food
Oysters
Culinary
Wounded
Witty
Cooking
Sick
More quotes by Woody Allen
I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it.
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I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
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Once the movie's over, there's not much point. When the thing is edited, mixed, and color-corrected, and you've finished it... In my case, I never read anything about it, I never think about it.
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The dictatorship is shut up, democracy is always concerned.
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I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.
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Don't worry, I know almost exactly what I'm doing.
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The prettiest women are almost always the most boring, and that is why some people feel there is no God.
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People ask me whether I think that one day I might wake up one morning and run dry, but I've had the opposite feeling - that I would die before I had time to write all the ideas in my drawer.
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Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.
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I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
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Marriage? That's for life! It's like cement!
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Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
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If you pursue the other woman, it's a losing situation and it's not good for your relationship or your marriage. If your marriage is open and you're allowed to, that's no good either. There's no way, really in the end, to be happy unless you get very lucky.
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The audience goes to sleep really quickly! If you have a slight pause at the wrong time, that's it!
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She had been critical of his new torch song, A Side Order of Heartache, Please, suggesting it could be used as a good way to break in their new paper shredder.
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If I can play a scene in a master shot, I always prefer it. And the actors always prefer it. It's fun to look at on the screen, the actors get a chance to sink their teeth into something substantial, and it's economically helpful.
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Life is full of moments that are good - winning a lottery, seeing a beautiful woman, a great dinner - but the whole thing is tragic. It's an oasis that is very pleasant.
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Raised by two mothers...wow, most of us barely survive one
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What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
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