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I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Dead
Cuisine
Food
Oysters
Culinary
Wounded
Witty
Cooking
Sick
Eating
Dieting
More quotes by Woody Allen
One of the interesting things is, the most gifted people, the biggest people, have no problem taking small roles.
Woody Allen
All the crap they tell you about... getting joy and having a kind of wisdom in your golden years - it's all tripe.
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I've always been lucky in casting. The trick in casting is to hire great people, and let them do what they do, don't interfere with them too much. And then when they're great, take credit for it in the end.
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Spencer was searching for a woman interested in gold, inorganic chemistry, outdoor sex and the music of Bach. In short, he was looking for himself, only female.
Woody Allen
I think if you have a comic perspective, almost anything that happens you tend to put through a comic filter. It's a way of coping in the short term, but has no long term effect and requires constant, endless renewal. Hence people talk of comics who are always on. It's like constantly drugging your sensibility so you can get by with less pain.
Woody Allen
I always thought that as long as man is mortal, he will never be relaxed.
Woody Allen
Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
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I had an IQ test. The results came back negative.
Woody Allen
Comedians have a tendency to have a limited range, they tend to do one thing and do it very well, but it's limited.
Woody Allen
I always felt that the problems of the world would never ever be solved until people came to terms with the deeper issues [spiritual] - that there would be an aimless reshuffling of world leaders and governments and programs.
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Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down.
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I loathed every day and regret every day I spent in school. I like to be taught to read and write and add and then be left alone.
Woody Allen
The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter. You know, if it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. I think that the worst thing you could say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. After all, you know, there are worse things in life than death.
Woody Allen
Every hooker I ever speak to tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing.
Woody Allen
I don't own a computer. I've never seen anything online at all - nothing. I don't own a word processor. I have none of that stuff. It's not an act of rebellion. I'm just not a gadget person.
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Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
Woody Allen
I was in analysis for years because of a traumatic childhood I was breast-fed through falsies.
Woody Allen
Sometimes some of the best moments are contributed by the actors being creative, with their own improvisations.
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I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
Woody Allen
The true test of maturity is not how old a person is but how he reacts to awakening in the mid-town area in his shorts.
Woody Allen