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Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Humor
Comedy
Lying
Funny
Death
Reality
Afterlife
Done
Easily
Things
Dying
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Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
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How am I immature? Intellectually, emotionally, and sexually. Yeah, but in what other ways?
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Have you ever noticed that good people sleep better, but bad people seem to have more fun when they're awake?
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If I just got up in the morning and had no place to go and was retired or something, I would be sitting there and be thinking, Gee, what is the purpose of life? Why are we all finite? Why do we get old and die? Is there nothing out there? Why is it so tragic? Why do our loved ones perish? Why do we generate? Who wants to think about that stuff
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To you I'm an atheist to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
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Nietzsche says that we will live the same life, over and over again. God - I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.
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A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense.
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And in all of Babylonia there was wailing and gnashing of teeth, 'til the prophets bade the multitudes get a grip on themselves and shape up.
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My parents were very Old World. They come from Brooklyn, which is the heart of the Old World. Their values in life are God and carpeting.
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Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
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I had a mad impulse to throw you down on the lunar surface and commit interstellar perversion with you.
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Enthusiasm is a good engine, but it needs intelligence for a driver.
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I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats. (On the KKK)
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I'm not a big believer in the sense of Jews having a monopoly on comedy.
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The great question of philosophy remains: If life is meaningless, what can be done about alphabet soup?
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When one chooses to be a writer, psychologically there's a reason for that because you like the isolation and you like to be by yourself and you are by nature timid.
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Humorists always sit at the children's table.
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The whole concept of awards is silly. I cannot abide by the judgment of other people, because if you accept it when they say you deserve an award, then you have to accept it when they say you don't.
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Once munching has begun, Schopenhauer held, the human will cannot resist further munching, and the result is a universe with crumbs over everything.
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