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When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Humor
Steal
Funny
Base
Back
Stealing
Feel
Guilty
Feels
Guilt
Played
Baseball
Second
Softball
More quotes by Woody Allen
I can do a limited amount of things and that's what I do and I feel comfortable doing it and I have no particular desire to do anything else as an actor.
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It's important to control yourself because life gets too complicated if you don't, but the impulse is often there for people. Some say society should be more open. That doesn't work either.
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Film is more of novelty, because I've done so much theater over many years. I'm in love with making movies. Also, I find it easier to remember three minutes of dialogue than three hours.
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How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
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I think that the tendency for most people is to fall back on a comic interpretation of things because things are so sad, so terrible. If you didn't laugh you'd kill yourself. But the truth of the matter is that existence in general is very very tragic, very very sad, very brutal and very unhappy.
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I don't know what I'm doing, but my incompetence has never stopped my enthusiasm.
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Man cannot live by bread alone. Every once in awhile he needs a salad.
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Someday the lion is going to lie down with the lamb, but the lamb isn't going to get much sleep.
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Isn't all mankind ultimately executed for a crime it never committed?
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Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful provided you get between the right man and the right woman.
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There is dignity in suffering nobility in pain but failure is a salted wound, that burns and burns again!
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And Nietzche, with his theory of eternal recurrence. He said that the life we lived we're going to live over again the exact same way for eternity. Great. That means I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.
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When I asked my mother where babies came from, she thought I said rabies. She said you get them from being bitten by a dog. The next week, a woman on my block gave birth to triplets... I thought she'd been bitten by a Great Dane.
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Human beings are divided into mind and body. The mind embraces all the nobler aspirations, like poetry and philosophy, but the body has all the fun.
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The difference between sex and death is, death you can do alone and nobody laughs at you.
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Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
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In the shower, with the hot water coming down, you've left the real world behind, and very frequently things open up for you. It's the change of venue, the unblocking the attempt to force the ideas that's crippling you when you're trying to write.
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My ex-wife was a philosophy major at NYU. Yeah, she and I used to have deep philosophical discussions where she would prove that I didn't exist.
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He adored New York City. He idolized it all out of proportion... no, make that: he - he romanticized it all out of proportion. Yes. To him, no matter what the season was, this was still a town that existed in black and white and pulsated to the great tunes of George Gershwin.
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Problems are like toilet paper. You pull on one and ten more come.
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