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Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Sarcastic
Humorous
Insane
Profound
Rest
Fun
Much
Time
Sarcasm
More quotes by Woody Allen
I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate...eh...spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and fly it to Cuba.
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Marriage? That's for life! It's like cement!
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Doing abominations is against the law, particularly if the abominations are done while wearing a lobster bib.
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We laughed over it, and Hemingway punched me in the mouth.
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There have been times when I've thought about it - but with my luck it would probably turn out to be only a temporary solution.
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Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka.
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The great roe is a mythological beast with the head of a lion and the body of a lion, though not the same lion.
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I'd like to make a great movie. I've made many movies. I think I've made some good movies, but I never felt I've made a great movie.
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Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge. Others only gargle.
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90 per cent of success is turning up.
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Existence for eternity could get a little boring... especially towards the end.
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Taste my tuna casserole - tell me if I put in too much hot fudge.
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Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
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I can't with any conscience argue for New York with anyone. It's like Calcutta. But I love the city in an emotional, irrational way, like loving your mother or your father even though they're a drunk or a thief. I've loved the city my whole life - to me, it's like a great woman.
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Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.
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Manute Bol is so skinny they save money on road trips. They just fax him from city to city.
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Life is a concentration camp. You're stuck here and there's no way out and you can only rage impotently against your persecutors.
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Magic has always been of a great interest of mine. I was an amateur magician when I was young. I used to practice and read up on it a lot. I'm well-aware of the history of magic.
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Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.
Woody Allen
I myself don't like to speak to the actors at all. I like to hire great people and let them do their thing. I don't like to speak to them. I don't like to have lunch with them. I don't like to socialize with them. I don't like to hear their ideas.
Woody Allen
