Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
Woody Allen
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Although
Religion
Funny
Death
Change
Believe
Life
Underwear
Bringing
More quotes by Woody Allen
Ads answered out of desperation in the New York Review of Books proved equally futile as…the 'Bay Area Bisexual' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
Woody Allen
I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.
Woody Allen
Curiosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds.
Woody Allen
I don't want to live forever through my work. I want to live forever by not dying.
Woody Allen
I recently turned 60. Practically a third of my life is over.
Woody Allen
Relationships are really what interest me the most. And I think, in the end, they interest most people the most. Even when you read Tolstoy or something, basically they're about man and woman relationships.
Woody Allen
We stand at a crossroads. One path leads to despair, the other to destruction. Let's hope we make the right choice.
Woody Allen
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
Woody Allen
I wouldn't necessarily want to be a big muscular guy. It's nice to be gorgeous whether you're male or female assuming you don't lose whatever else you have.
Woody Allen
The artist can't give you an answer that's satisfying to the dreadful reality of your existence. So the best you can do is maybe entertain people and refresh them for an hour-and-a-half.
Woody Allen
God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.
Woody Allen
It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off.
Woody Allen
It's very hard to keep your spirits up. You've got to keep selling yourself a bill of goods, and some people are better at lying to themselves than others. If you face reality too much, it kills you.... you've got to find an answer to the question: Why go on?
Woody Allen
One of the interesting things is, the most gifted people, the biggest people, have no problem taking small roles.
Woody Allen
I never thought I was doing anyone a favour by bringing children into the world. With people as cruel to each other as they are, it's a terrible proposition. The best of lives are sad and tragic. The best of them. My general conclusion is that it's not a nice thing to do. The world doesn't need it. The kid doesn't need it.
Woody Allen
If you can delude yourself by believing that there is some kind of Santa Claus out there who is going to bail you out in the end, then it will help you get through. Even if you are proven wrong in the end, you would have had a better life than a non-believer.
Woody Allen
I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
Woody Allen
I have one last request. Don't use embalming fluid on me I want to be stuffed with crab meat.
Woody Allen
I feel humor is important for those two reasons: that it is a little bit of refreshment like music, and that women have told me over the years that it is very, very important to them.
Woody Allen
Don't worry, I know almost exactly what I'm doing.
Woody Allen
