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Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Imitate
Television
Funny
Business
Doesn
Art
Life
Imitates
More quotes by Woody Allen
Until you've been kissed on a rainy Parisian afternoon - you've never been kissed.
Woody Allen
The best an idea gets is when its in your head.
Woody Allen
I keep wondering if there is an afterlife, and if there is will they be able to break a twenty?
Woody Allen
Over the years I've never written or made movies about political themes 'cause while they do have current critical importance, in the large, large scheme of things, only the big questions matter and the answers to those big questions are very, very depressing.
Woody Allen
You make a film and always hope you're going make Citizen Kane or The Bicycle Thief. You make the film, and for one reason or another, one clicks and one doesn't, but it's out of your control completely.
Woody Allen
You use sex to express every emotion except love.
Woody Allen
. . . they confuse everything I do with my life.
Woody Allen
What' s the matter with me? Why can't I be cool?
Woody Allen
The difference between sex and death is, death you can do alone and nobody laughs at you.
Woody Allen
Once the movie's over, there's not much point. When the thing is edited, mixed, and color-corrected, and you've finished it... In my case, I never read anything about it, I never think about it.
Woody Allen
How am I immature? Intellectually, emotionally, and sexually. Yeah, but in what other ways?
Woody Allen
Every hooker I ever speak to tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing.
Woody Allen
But what if everyone in the world behaved like me and came here and shot Brisseau through the ear? What a mess! And of course we'd need valet parking.
Woody Allen
I work all the time because it's a great distraction and it keeps me from sitting home and obsessing morbidly.
Woody Allen
I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
Woody Allen
The history of the world is like: He kills me, I kill him, only with different cosmetics and different castings. So in 2001, some fanatics killed some Americans, and now some Americans are killing some Iraqis. And in my childhood, some Nazis killed Jews. And now, some Jewish people and some Palestinians are killing each other.
Woody Allen
Basically I am a low-culture person. I prefer watching baseball with a beer and some meatballs.
Woody Allen
How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
Woody Allen
Enthusiasm is a good engine, but it needs intelligence for a driver.
Woody Allen
Nothing like a little post-traumatic stress disorder to make your day complete.
Woody Allen
