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Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Imitate
Television
Funny
Business
Doesn
Art
Life
Imitates
More quotes by Woody Allen
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
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I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.
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There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
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If you're born with a gift, to behave like it's an achievement is not right.
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None of the arts are any good unless you really are great at them.
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There are two important things in the world, the first is sex. The other isn't all that important.
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If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.
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Problems are like toilet paper. You pull on one and ten more come.
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I read in self-defense.
Woody Allen
My parents were very Old World. They come from Brooklyn, which is the heart of the Old World. Their values in life are God and carpeting.
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This year I'm a star, but what will I be next year? A black hole?
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I believe in sex and death- two experiences that come once in a lifetime.
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If the [actors] are working, and I have a dinner engagement, I don't do 20 takes. I do five takes and go home. I want to go to dinner.
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I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
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There's no rhyme or reason to anything that I do. It's whatever seems right at the time.
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Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge. Others only gargle.
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Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
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I don't know enough to be incompetent.
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I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in braille. I used to rub the dirty parts.
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My brain? It's my second favorite organ!
Woody Allen
