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Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Imitate
Television
Funny
Business
Doesn
Art
Life
Imitates
More quotes by Woody Allen
I don't believe in competition for artistic things. I just like the atmosphere of the Cannes festival. I don't want to win anything or lose anything.
Woody Allen
I like broad comedy. If I had an idea tomorrow for a film that was all slapstick and broad comedy, and it was an idea that interested me, I would not hesitate to do it because I enjoy watching these kinds of film.
Woody Allen
It's easier to direct. If you direct something poorly and re-shoot it the next day, stage it better, make it work better, you have a lot of possibilities. You can edit it in certain ways so that it works, but there's no getting around weaknesses of the script.
Woody Allen
How wrong Emily Dickinson was! Hope is not the thing with feathers. The thing with feathers has turned out to be my nephew. I must take him to a specialist in Zurich.
Woody Allen
My parents were very Old World. They come from Brooklyn, which is the heart of the Old World. Their values in life are God and carpeting.
Woody Allen
I cannot say for certain that God does not exist I think the worst thing that can be said about him is that he's a bit of an underachiever.
Woody Allen
I'm at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me I'm profoundly grateful to her.
Woody Allen
The meaning of life is that nobody knows the meaning of life.
Woody Allen
Notes for a ballet, The Spell: ... Suddenly Sigmund hears the flutter of wings, and a group of wild swans flies across the moon ... Sigmund is astounded to see that their leader is part swan and part woman - unfortunately, divided lengthwise. She enchants Sigmund, who is careful not to make any poultry jokes.
Woody Allen
Men would make love with any number of women ... even total strangers, while females were selective. They were catering to the demands of one small egg. While males had millions of frantic sperms screaming: Let us out, let us out!.
Woody Allen
I don't know what the hell I'm doing here. I'm 237 years old, I should be collecting social security.
Woody Allen
In short, the best thing to do is behave in a manner befitting one's age. If you are sixteen or under, try not to go bald.
Woody Allen
Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.
Woody Allen
Some women feel power is important, some women feel that looks are important, tenderness, intelligence...but sense of humor seems to permeate all of them.
Woody Allen
Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
Woody Allen
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
Woody Allen
I don't like to meet the actor and have a lot of conferences and talk about their sub-life and their off-screen life and their back stories and all that nonsense, because it never means anything.
Woody Allen
If I could change the structure of existence I would do it. I could see a better way to live for everybody.
Woody Allen
Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
Woody Allen
I always thought it would be very funny if I was a blind film director.
Woody Allen
