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As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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Figures
Poet
Tree
Probably
Nature
Bark
More quotes by Woody Allen
Anything worth knowing cannot be understood by the human mind.
Woody Allen
I've inherited the worst of each parent. I have my father's hypochondria and lack of concentration. I have his amorality. I have everything bad that he had. Then I have my mother's surly, pill-like, complaining, whining attitude.
Woody Allen
Do I believe in God? I did until Mother's accident. She fell on some meat loaf and it penetrated her spleen.
Woody Allen
Sometimes the critics will like a film, and the public doesn't come. Sometimes the critics won't like the film, and the public will come. It's completely spontaneous. It's a hazard.
Woody Allen
When a doctor makes a mistake, it's best to bury the subject.
Woody Allen
Not think of death as an end, but think of it more as a very effective way of cutting down on your expenses.
Woody Allen
The wicked at heart probably know something.
Woody Allen
People think I'm an artist because my films lose money.
Woody Allen
I know what I think but I don't know how to put it into words. Maybe I could get a little bit drunk and dance it for you.
Woody Allen
Honey, there's a spider in your bathroom the size of a Buick.
Woody Allen
I'm a creature of the New York City streets.
Woody Allen
The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.
Woody Allen
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
Woody Allen
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
Woody Allen
When I'm not working, I think and I think when I get depressed.
Woody Allen
I, interestingly, had dated a woman in the Eisenhower Administration briefly, and it was ironic to me 'cause I was trying to do toher what Eisenhower has been doing to the country for the last eight years.
Woody Allen
In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.
Woody Allen
Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge. Others only gargle.
Woody Allen
I'm a nice person! I have healthy life drives and goals! I don't drink, I don't smoke. I would never force myself sexually on a blind person!
Woody Allen
With films, I just scribble a couple of notes for a scene. You don't have to do any writing at all, you just have your notes for the scene, which are written with the actors and the camera in mind. The actual script is a necessity for casting and budgeting, but the end product often doesn't bear much resemblance to the script--at least in my case.
Woody Allen
