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I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Dead
Call
Wordplay
Would
Sadism
Sadistic
Beating
Sarcastic
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Horse

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He adored New York City. He idolized it all out of proportion... no, make that: he - he romanticized it all out of proportion. Yes. To him, no matter what the season was, this was still a town that existed in black and white and pulsated to the great tunes of George Gershwin.
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I've been lucky because my films have consistently made a profit, almost all of them have made a profit. Never a huge profit, but nobody gets hurt. And therefore I get a lot of freedom.
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My grandfather was a very insignificant man, actually. At his funeral his hearse followed the other cars.
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More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
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I feel humor is important for those two reasons: that it is a little bit of refreshment like music, and that women have told me over the years that it is very, very important to them.
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I believe people ought to mate for life...like pigeons or Catholics.
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I never wanted to or expected to make a film outside of New York. New York became very, very expensive. The same $18 million spent in Barcelona or Rome goes much further there.
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My analyst warned me, but you were so beautiful I got another analyst.
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Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!
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I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak.
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The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.
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I like filming in New York a lot myself, but London is accommodating to me the weather's very good there and the conditions for shooting and the financial conditions, the artistic conditions are good, so it's a pleasant place to shoot.
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I can levitate birds. No one cares.
Woody Allen
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Nothing worth knowing can be understood with the mind.
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Standard mathematics has recently been rendered obsolete by the discovery that for years we have been writing the numeral five backward. This has led to reevaluation of counting as a method of getting from one to ten. Students are taught advanced concepts of Boolean algebra, and formerly unsolvable equations are dealt with by threats of reprisals.
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Life is a concentration camp. You're stuck here and there's no way out and you can only rage impotently against your persecutors.
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It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
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This year I'm a star, but what will I be next year? A black hole?
Woody Allen
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I believe in sex and death- two experiences that come once in a lifetime.
Woody Allen
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Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
Woody Allen