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I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
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The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Comedy
Sold
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Grandfather
Life
Pockets
Gold
Watches
Watch
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Deathbed
Proud
Pocket
More quotes by Woody Allen
Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately, no one we know belongs.
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I'm a teleological, existential agnostic.
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You'll live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to.
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The great roe is a mythological beast with the head of a lion and the body of a lion, though not the same lion.
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There's nothing good about getting older-absolutely nothing-because the amount of wisdom and experience you gain is negligible compared to what you lose. You do gain a couple of things-you gain a little bittersweet and sour wisdom from your heartbreaks and failures and things-but what you lose is so catastrophic in every way.
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. . . they confuse everything I do with my life.
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I never ever see a film of mine after I release it to the public. I see it when I shoot it in my dailies and while I'm editing it, re-editing it and reshooting it and all that. By the time it's finished I never want to see it again.
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There's nothing like the discovery of an unknown work by a great thinker to set the intellectual community atwitter and cause academics to dart about like those things one sees when looking at a drop of water under a microscope.
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Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
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If I had my choice in life I would have had the gifts of Tennessee Williams or Eugene O'Neill. Unfortunately my gifts lie in comedy and so comedy comes fairly easy to me and I occasionally have an idea for a very serious piece and I do it, but the ideas don't come that readily to me.
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To be a film director is not a democracy, it's really a tyranny. You're the head of the project, for better rather than worse. I write the film and I direct the film, I decide who's going to be in it, I decide on the editing, I put in the music from my own record collection.
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Yes, but the difference is that when you're dead and somebody yells, 'Everybody up, it's morning,' it's very hard to find your slippers.
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Spencer was searching for a woman interested in gold, inorganic chemistry, outdoor sex and the music of Bach. In short, he was looking for himself, only female.
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The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.
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A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense.
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[Stanley] Kubrick was a great artist and a perfectionist. He always wanted the exact right thing. He did a million takes. Everything had to be perfect. I'm an imperfectionist. I don't really care that much about the work. I write quickly. I'm careless. I shoot carelessly.
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I can't understand why more people aren't bisexual. It would double your chances for a date on Saturday night.
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If you aren't failing, you aren't trying.
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My parents stayed together for forty years. But that was out of spite.
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This sounds so bleak when I say it, but we need some delusions to keep us going. And the people who successfully delude themselves seem happier than the people who can't.
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