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Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Guy
Funny
Fender
Words
Multiplying
Multiply
Fruitful
Hilarious
Humor
Told

More quotes by Woody Allen

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I work all the time because it's a great distraction and it keeps me from sitting home and obsessing morbidly.
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I'm trying to arrange my life so I don't have to be present.
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Many people who get a lot of money are willing to work with me for no money. This is true.
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Relationships are really what interest me the most. And I think, in the end, they interest most people the most. Even when you read Tolstoy or something, basically they're about man and woman relationships.
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I think, on both sides of the camera or the novel: Distraction. I'm obsessed with: Can I get this actress or my third act to work? I'm distracted. I'm interested in that so I don't sit home and think, Gee, life is meaningless. We're all going to die. The universe is pulling apart at breakneck speed.
Woody Allen
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Psychoanalyses is like music lessons, for 5 years you do not notice any progress and suddenly you can play the piano.
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Music has always helped my films. In 'The Curse Of The Jade Scorpion,' you can hear 'Sunrise' by Glenn Miller, an idol of my childhood, in the surprise ending. I like mixing comedy with suspense and action.
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Should I marry W? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name. And what about her career? How can I ask a woman of her beauty to give up the Roller Derby? Decisions...
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I'm a creature of the New York City streets.
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My parents were very Old World. They come from Brooklyn, which is the heart of the Old World. Their values in life are God and carpeting.
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The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind -- a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house.
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Problems are like toilet paper. You pull on one and ten more come.
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I'm really impotent against the overwhelming bleakness of the universe and the only thing I can do is my little gift [filmmaking] and do it the best I can, [...] which is cold comfort.
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The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.
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Where I grew up in Brooklyn, nobody committed suicide. Everyone was too unhappy.
Woody Allen
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I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.
Woody Allen
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I can't with any conscience argue for New York with anyone. It's like Calcutta. But I love the city in an emotional, irrational way, like loving your mother or your father even though they're a drunk or a thief. I've loved the city my whole life - to me, it's like a great woman.
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Manute Bol is so skinny they save money on road trips. They just fax him from city to city.
Woody Allen
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I'm a big believer in supporting the action on film with the appropriate music. It covers a multitude of sins. It's gotten me out of a lot of jams, over the years. So, music for me is a very big thing in films and I use it unashamedly.
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You look up after many years and you find that a film has become a classic because it's meaningful to people and alive, decade after decade.
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