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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
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Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
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The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Death
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Immortality
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Immortal
More quotes by Woody Allen
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I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
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Abysmal vermin that I am, I couldn't of course tell her that it was her incredible mother that I wanted to see again… I knew only as I drove through the cold, night autumn air that somewhere Freud, Sophocles and Eugene O’Neill were laughing.
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I can't even make a leap of faith to believe in my own existence.
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I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
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Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
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Drama, it would be as if you wrote some poetry. You'd run the risk of being embarrassed if people read it, because you're pouring your heart out and you're not mitigating it with any humor or anything.
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My mother never had time for me. When you're the middle child in a family of five million, you don't get any attention.
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What is it about death that bothers me? Probably the hours.
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The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
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A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
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Science is an intellectual dead end, you know? It's a lot of little guys in tweed suits cutting up frogs on foundation grants.
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When I'm writing something, if there's a part that's good for me, then I'll play it. Otherwise, I don't. And I notice that there are less and less parts for me in my own writing.
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I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.
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My brain? It's my second favorite organ!
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I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.
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90 per cent of success is turning up.
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Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.
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What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?
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