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Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Life
Marriage
Boats
Wife
Bath
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Immature
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Baths
Women
Sink
Home
Maturity
Come
Boat
Time
Basically
More quotes by Woody Allen
Some women feel power is important, some women feel that looks are important, tenderness, intelligence...but sense of humor seems to permeate all of them.
Woody Allen
I don't why whatever works and whatever doesn't. You just make the film that you enjoy making at the time, and you think there's a good chance that people might enjoy the story. You're surprised pleasantly when they do. It's just luck.
Woody Allen
Every hooker I ever speak to tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing.
Woody Allen
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
Woody Allen
I think if you have a comic perspective, almost anything that happens you tend to put through a comic filter. It's a way of coping in the short term, but has no long term effect and requires constant, endless renewal. Hence people talk of comics who are always on. It's like constantly drugging your sensibility so you can get by with less pain.
Woody Allen
Achilles only had an Achilles heel, I have an entire Achilles body.
Woody Allen
I'm a nice person! I have healthy life drives and goals! I don't drink, I don't smoke. I would never force myself sexually on a blind person!
Woody Allen
My Lord, my Lord! What hath Thou done lately?
Woody Allen
Astronomers say the universe is finite, which is a comforting thought for those people who can't remember where they leave things.
Woody Allen
But it was I - yes I - who discovered the link between excessive masturbation and entry into politics!
Woody Allen
To me nature is... spiders and bugs, and big fish eating little fish, and plants eating plans, and animals eating... It's like an enormous restaurant, that's the way I see it.
Woody Allen
In 1940 I was just turning 5 years old and being taken to the movies. For those of us who were not old enough to understand the horror of war it was a very romantic era because these guys were kissing their wives and girlfriends goodbye and going off to fight and become heroes.
Woody Allen
I've gained no wisdom, no insight, no mellowing. I would make all the same mistakes again, today.
Woody Allen
Until you've been kissed on a rainy Parisian afternoon - you've never been kissed.
Woody Allen
... years of insanity have made this guy crazy!
Woody Allen
I see no advantages in aging whatsoever. You become shriveled. You become decrepit. You lose your faculties. Your peer group passes away. You sit in a room gumming your porridge. I don't see any advantage in this whatsoever.
Woody Allen
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
Woody Allen
I've always been interested in being in other people's movies. I never get any offers.
Woody Allen
I can levitate birds. No one cares.
Woody Allen
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
Woody Allen
