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If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Making
Atheist
Atheistic
Money
Sign
Swiss
Give
Large
Bankers
Giving
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Banking
Would
Name
Skepticism
Like
Names
Bank
Clear
Witty
Deposit
Funny
Humorous
Deposits
More quotes by Woody Allen
It is clear the future holds great opportunities. It also holds pitfalls. The trick will be to avoid the pitfalls, seize the opportunities, and get back home by six o'clock.
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I heard that Commentary and Dissent had merged and formed Dysenery.
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I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
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I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.
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When I was born my mother was terribly disappointed. Not that she wanted a girl - she wanted a divorce.
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The heart wants what it wants.
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There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
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How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
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I don't know what I'm doing, but my incompetence has never stopped my enthusiasm.
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I love baseball. You know, it doesn’t have to mean anything. It’s just very beautiful to watch.
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All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.
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Spencer was searching for a woman interested in gold, inorganic chemistry, outdoor sex and the music of Bach. In short, he was looking for himself, only female.
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I've had a very productive life. I've worked very hard, I've never fallen prey to depression. I'm not sure I could have done all of that without being in psychoanalysis.
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Some men are heterosexual and some men are bisexual and some men don't think about sex at all ... you know, they become lawyers.
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The heart wants what it wants. There's no logic to these things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that's that.
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For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have.
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I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
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Regarding love what can you say? It's not the quantity of your sexual relations that counts. It's the quality. On the other hand if the quantity drops below once every eight months, I would definitely look into it.
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My heart says one thing. My head says another. Very hard to get your heart and head together in life.
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Since I was a kid, I could make up stories, I could make up funny jokes and I could always do it. When I'm walking down the street or having dinner, ideas will hit me, and I write them down on matchbooks or napkins and throw them in the draw.
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