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There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Ever
Insurance
Things
Fishing
Life
Evening
Suicide
Spent
Worse
Funny
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Death
Salesman
More quotes by Woody Allen
I keep getting more and more ambitious. Over the years, to some degree, in some areas, I feel I've grown. In some areas, I made a fool of myself. In some areas, I think I can still do some funny things.
Woody Allen
Why not? Life is short, life is dull, life is full of pain - and this is a chance for something special.
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The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter. You know, if it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. I think that the worst thing you could say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. After all, you know, there are worse things in life than death.
Woody Allen
Relationships are really what interest me the most. And I think, in the end, they interest most people the most. Even when you read Tolstoy or something, basically they're about man and woman relationships.
Woody Allen
A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
Woody Allen
I don't want to be immortal through my works. I want to be immortal by not dying.
Woody Allen
I write about what I want to write about, and so the film comes out as a very personal expression even if its subject matter is totally prefabricated.
Woody Allen
There will be no major solution to the suffering of humanity until we reach some understanding of who we are, what the purpose of creation was, what happens after death. Until those questions are resolved we are caught.
Woody Allen
Does art imitate life, or does life imitate TV?
Woody Allen
Yes, but the difference is that when you're dead and somebody yells, 'Everybody up, it's morning,' it's very hard to find your slippers.
Woody Allen
When you start putting a higher value on works of art than people, you’re forfeiting your humanity.
Woody Allen
He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
Woody Allen
I think it's my job or the artist's job, to try and find some solution or some reason to accept things. But given the grimmest reality, I feel the grimmest facts are the real facts, the true facts: that you're born, you die, you suffer, it's to no purpose, and you're gone forever, ever, ever, and that's it.
Woody Allen
Love may be the answer, but even though you're watching for the solution, intercourse raises some rather interesting thoughts.
Woody Allen
The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only when it's done right.
Woody Allen
... years of insanity have made this guy crazy!
Woody Allen
How does gravity work? And if it were to cease suddenly, would certain restaurants still require a jacket?
Woody Allen
History is the same thing over and over again.
Woody Allen
I can't understand why more people aren't bisexual. It would double your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Woody Allen
I read in self-defense.
Woody Allen
