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There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Suicide
Spent
Worse
Funny
Provocative
Death
Salesman
Ever
Insurance
Things
Fishing
Life
Evening
More quotes by Woody Allen
Some people think about sex all the time some people think of sex some of the time and some people never think about sex: they become lawyers.
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You're a genius! And the proof is that both common people and intellectuals find your work completely incoherent.
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Heaven knows, we all make mistakes. That's life - and chess.
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Life is unresolved, confusing, bewildering, puzzling, ambiguous. You don't really know what's going to happen. The future is uncertain for everybody.
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I can't even make a leap of faith to believe in my own existence.
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When you start putting a higher value on works of art than people, you’re forfeiting your humanity.
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Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
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Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
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And in all of Babylonia there was wailing and gnashing of teeth, 'til the prophets bade the multitudes get a grip on themselves and shape up.
Woody Allen
God is either cruel or incompetent.
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No, I don't think you're paranoid. I think you're the opposite of paranoid. I think you walk around with the insane delusion that people like you.
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As the author you know how you want it to appear on screen and it's always the content dictating the form.
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Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.
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Is old age really so terrible? Not if you've brushed your teeth faithfully.
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I'm generally not a social dramatist or comedy writer. My interests have always been more in psychological stories or personal relations and comic ideas.
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If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.
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I think there is too much wrong with the world to ever get too relaxed and happy. The more natural state, and the better one, I think, is one of some anxiety and tension over man's plight in this mysterious universe.
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I wouldn't mind dying so much if it wasn't that I would be dead at the end of it.
Woody Allen
Whosoever loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.
Woody Allen
I want to return to the womb, anyone's.
Woody Allen
