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It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
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Film Actor
Film Director
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The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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More quotes by Woody Allen
I was the captain of the latent paranoid softball team. We used to play all the neurotics on sunday morning. Nailbiters against the bedwetters, and if you've never seen neurotics play softball, it's really funny. I used to steal second base, and feel guilty and go back.
Woody Allen
If you can delude yourself by believing that there is some kind of Santa Claus out there who is going to bail you out in the end, then it will help you get through. Even if you are proven wrong in the end, you would have had a better life than a non-believer.
Woody Allen
Cynicism is reality with an alternate spelling.
Woody Allen
How does gravity work? And if it were to cease suddenly, would certain restaurants still require a jacket?
Woody Allen
My wife is immature. Whenever I take a bath, she sinks my boats.
Woody Allen
But it was I - yes I - who discovered the link between excessive masturbation and entry into politics!
Woody Allen
Subjectivity is objective.
Woody Allen
Sex is better than talk. Ask anybody in this bar. Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.
Woody Allen
The only thing standing between me and greatness is me.
Woody Allen
Heaven knows, we all make mistakes. That's life - and chess.
Woody Allen
I've always been lucky in casting. The trick in casting is to hire great people, and let them do what they do, don't interfere with them too much. And then when they're great, take credit for it in the end.
Woody Allen
Love may be the answer, but even though you're watching for the solution, intercourse raises some rather interesting thoughts.
Woody Allen
Of all human weakness obsession is the most dangerous. And the silliest.
Woody Allen
I'm awash in self-contempt!
Woody Allen
I can't enjoy anything unless everybody is. If one guy is starving someplace, that puts a crimp in my evening.
Woody Allen
I think Frank Capra was a much craftier filmmaker, a wonderful filmmaker. He had enormous technique, and he knew how to manipulate the public quite brilliantly.
Woody Allen
In fact, when they wake up in the morning, they're Jack Nicholson or Robert De Niro or Josh Brolin. And it's built-in, but they think it's all this other stuff. But it's not. They'd be great if they didn't think about their part or if they did think about it.
Woody Allen
I idolized Superman when I was younger. I thought he and I had a lot in common. He was always going into phonebooths and taking off all his clothes.
Woody Allen
I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child.
Woody Allen
The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.
Woody Allen
