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My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Witty
Humorous
Humility
Regret
Funny
Else
Someone
Life
More quotes by Woody Allen
Never shoot up in the air when you're standing under it.
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Of all human weakness obsession is the most dangerous. And the silliest.
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In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.
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The only thing standing between me and greatness is me.
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There is no justice, there is no rational structure to it [life]. That is just the way it is, and each person figures out some way to cope.
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There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
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I got a divorce because my ex-wife left me for another woman.
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I'm going to my psychoanalyst one more year, then I'm going to Lourdes.
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If God is everywhere, I had concluded, then He is in food. Therefore, the more I ate the godlier I would become. Impelled by this new religious fervor, I glutted myself like a fanatic.
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My parents were very Old World. They come from Brooklyn, which is the heart of the Old World. Their values in life are God and carpeting.
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Paris is a very exciting city. I learned about Paris the same way that Americans do: from the movies.
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Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
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I think Hollywood has gone in a disastrous path. It's terrible. The years of cinema that were great were the '30s, '40s, not so much the '50s...but then the foreign films took over and it was a great age of cinema as American directors were influenced by them and that fueled the '50s and '60s and '70s.
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Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
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Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.
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All over the world, relationships between men and women are very, very tricky and very difficult and you don't learn anything. It's not an exact science, so you can't learn anything. You're always going by instinct and your instinct betrays you because you want what you want when you want it.
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There are two important things in the world, the first is sex. The other isn't all that important.
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His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
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This sounds so bleak when I say it, but we need some delusions to keep us going. And the people who successfully delude themselves seem happier than the people who can't.
Woody Allen
No, no, I'm a lowbrow. I read [Dostoevsky] more out of obligation than enjoyment. For enjoyment, for me, it's a beer and the football game.
Woody Allen